Sunday, September 18, 2011

The Bulldogge By-Laws and the Passive Voice

Somewhere in the hefty tome that is the Bulldogge By-Laws -- no doubt on some back page that is stuck together with a crumb of kibble, or a section that is not a stranger to the many feet of a silverfish -- it must state that If A Bulldogge Is Caught Redhanded Doing Something She Ought Not, Her Best Bet Is To Use The Passive Voice.

Dorothy, admitting to nothing:

For if I catch Dorothy heckling the small cat, for instance, she might look guilty, yet refer to it as an "unfortunate incident" that might have occurred.  And if she should be so forward as to attempt to chew my slippers, while MY FEET ARE WEARING THEM, well, all she will admit to is that "mistakes were made."  She has the makings of a true politician, does she not?

Dorothy, wanting me to go away so she can 
listen to the Shangri-Las in peace:

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