Sunday, December 11, 2011


Bulldogges snore.

Ho hum, you say, we already knew this.  But if that is your reaction, I don't think you understand just how LOUD Dorothy's snore is.  I'm sure that many evenings, people in the Poconos think they are about to be besieged by a strange early winter thunder storm.  But it isn't thunder!  It's Dorothy Hyacinth snoring down in Philly.

I had a pug in my bed for seventeen years, so I thought I knew from snoring.

But it turns out pug snoring and bulldogge snoring are two different things:  a pug snore is a merry little whistle, with perhaps the occasional snort, snuffle and grunt.  Dorothy's snore is so loud I swear if my bedroom were bigger, her snore would be enough to propel the bed from one side of the room to the other.

Her snore goes down a few decibels when her head isn't on a pillow, so on occasion I will rotate her counter-clockwise so that her head is level with her body.  This buys me a few minutes to fall asleep myself, before the lawn mower honk-shu starts up again.

I'm on the verge of trying to plaster Dorothy's snout with some breathe-right strips.  I'll let you know if they work.

Dorothy thinking: I don't snore in your ear; I whisper sweet nothings.

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