Owen would like you to know that he does not suffer fools gladly.
You there, are you paying attention?
And as such he has been working hard on The Unbearable Slowness of Dressing: A Treatise, by Owen M. Gares.
You see, the whole process from hat to socks is just interminably slow.
The only okay part is when you tickle my armpits!
Now that's funny!
Why pajamas and a onesie can sometimes take two whole minutes! And those are minutes that could have been spent doing other things, like gargling, or hollering or sinking two teeth into fingers and arms.
No, that's it. Treatise complete.